not gona write abt tis xmas
I hate moiself for having tis sensitive n worse, e BINGO sensitive feeling. . I hate it . I jux hate it.
Anw it’s a bingo feeling again tis time round. . I smehw cld jux feel dat tis time round was so different. Over e wkend was indeed a hapie wkend, moments where I felt dat afterall I shldnt have been so afraid all these while to step into it.
Well, but dreams never last long dun they? Yvonne yvonne, when will u wake up to ur senses?
Then again, its alwix not u hurting me or me hurting u. . isn’t dat alwix e case when it comes to a relationship?
I am alwix so stupid. . I officially would like to wish for myself to suffer from amnesia. Forgetting everything in my life even if it has to mean forgetting my family, moi doggies, moi lovely frens. . otherwise, I jux wan to forget whatever dat has happened this yr. . for the few of u who have been thru w me during e mths of august to october.. u’ll noe y. . besides moi mummy’s death, this period has been e 2nd blow in moi entire life.
But im so glad I pick moiself up yet again, thou till date I dunoe if I really had made e right decision. . but then again who is to decide which was e right n which was e wrong decision? Right here, I would like to thank you pple n moi family, at e same time apologise for this period of time. . esp to moi daddy n moi auntie. . sorie aunt, I broke ur heart smehw by choosing e other path in e end. . but till date, it also still hurts me so when I tink back. . daddy, I loved u n dats y I chose e path u felt was rite for me. . mummy, I didnt expect moiself to haf faced such a situation. . n I wonder sometimes was it how daddy made u choose dat path previously?
Sometimes I wished mummy was still ard. . mummy will alwix be e one dat I can tok to n understand hw I reali feel, n give me e best advice in everything I do.
Mummy, I miss u so much. . But mummy, bcox of u, nothing and no one else (maybe not even e 2nd blow) can ever ever cause e huge amt of eternal hurt to me. .
When I tink of mummy, I still will cry. . when I tink of e 2nd incident, sometimes I still can control n console moiself. . but mummy – no no. . . nthg else shall ever break me again. .
So whatever news dat haf been broken to me abt me n him. . after writing e above, im glad im feeling beta. . cox I can onli feel it’s a waste that another chance is not given. . or maybe everything jux came in too late for me to open moi heart. I shall jux leave tings to fate. Even when I wanted to lk for e fortune teller jux nw, she didn’t wana see me. . so sad. . she said she’s closed. . maybe it’s jux god’s will. . afterall… If he comes back, he comes back, if he doesn’t, its ok cox we’re still frens. . n I’ll be hapie for him (jux like in e past) when he finds e rite girl for him.
Finally, wat doesn’t break von jux makes von a stronger person. N pals, maybe dat explains y to all of u, I am such a strong person. Make me cry; make me cry (w/o using moi mummy n perhaps e 2nd blow). Cox when I can’t cry out, it’s so terrible. .
2007 is coming.. meaning NYE is coming. . I miss last yr’s Xmas eve n NYE. . I miss Rosa being ard. . (not miss miss) but with her around, she jux irritates e hell outta me yet make me laugh . but mich’s improving too. Mich, if sme dae u happen to haf access to moi blog, I love ur Hello Kitty joke at tis time. . u MADE IT! U made me laugh like hw rosa does when im feeling dwn. . so uve made it cox uve reached e stage where u can help me by making me cry when I cant n making me laugh when I cant.
And of cox lee khim, if ever u get to read tis too, thks for being moi secret listening ear all these while. . im a coward in revealing moi true feelings to e person I like. .n wun tell e rest of moi frens hw I feel towards him cox they will jux tell me Yvonne, dun cause harm to pple again….but at least I noe I’ve told someone moi true feelings to abt tis guy, n dat person is u.
I guex I am more or less feeling beta now after writing, after tinking of moi mummy. . after doin sme self reflections at starbucks jux nw. . n nw in moi mind, is building a list of resolution for coming 2007 to make von a better person. . J
Anw it’s a bingo feeling again tis time round. . I smehw cld jux feel dat tis time round was so different. Over e wkend was indeed a hapie wkend, moments where I felt dat afterall I shldnt have been so afraid all these while to step into it.
Well, but dreams never last long dun they? Yvonne yvonne, when will u wake up to ur senses?
Then again, its alwix not u hurting me or me hurting u. . isn’t dat alwix e case when it comes to a relationship?
I am alwix so stupid. . I officially would like to wish for myself to suffer from amnesia. Forgetting everything in my life even if it has to mean forgetting my family, moi doggies, moi lovely frens. . otherwise, I jux wan to forget whatever dat has happened this yr. . for the few of u who have been thru w me during e mths of august to october.. u’ll noe y. . besides moi mummy’s death, this period has been e 2nd blow in moi entire life.
But im so glad I pick moiself up yet again, thou till date I dunoe if I really had made e right decision. . but then again who is to decide which was e right n which was e wrong decision? Right here, I would like to thank you pple n moi family, at e same time apologise for this period of time. . esp to moi daddy n moi auntie. . sorie aunt, I broke ur heart smehw by choosing e other path in e end. . but till date, it also still hurts me so when I tink back. . daddy, I loved u n dats y I chose e path u felt was rite for me. . mummy, I didnt expect moiself to haf faced such a situation. . n I wonder sometimes was it how daddy made u choose dat path previously?
Sometimes I wished mummy was still ard. . mummy will alwix be e one dat I can tok to n understand hw I reali feel, n give me e best advice in everything I do.
Mummy, I miss u so much. . But mummy, bcox of u, nothing and no one else (maybe not even e 2nd blow) can ever ever cause e huge amt of eternal hurt to me. .
When I tink of mummy, I still will cry. . when I tink of e 2nd incident, sometimes I still can control n console moiself. . but mummy – no no. . . nthg else shall ever break me again. .
So whatever news dat haf been broken to me abt me n him. . after writing e above, im glad im feeling beta. . cox I can onli feel it’s a waste that another chance is not given. . or maybe everything jux came in too late for me to open moi heart. I shall jux leave tings to fate. Even when I wanted to lk for e fortune teller jux nw, she didn’t wana see me. . so sad. . she said she’s closed. . maybe it’s jux god’s will. . afterall… If he comes back, he comes back, if he doesn’t, its ok cox we’re still frens. . n I’ll be hapie for him (jux like in e past) when he finds e rite girl for him.
Finally, wat doesn’t break von jux makes von a stronger person. N pals, maybe dat explains y to all of u, I am such a strong person. Make me cry; make me cry (w/o using moi mummy n perhaps e 2nd blow). Cox when I can’t cry out, it’s so terrible. .
2007 is coming.. meaning NYE is coming. . I miss last yr’s Xmas eve n NYE. . I miss Rosa being ard. . (not miss miss) but with her around, she jux irritates e hell outta me yet make me laugh . but mich’s improving too. Mich, if sme dae u happen to haf access to moi blog, I love ur Hello Kitty joke at tis time. . u MADE IT! U made me laugh like hw rosa does when im feeling dwn. . so uve made it cox uve reached e stage where u can help me by making me cry when I cant n making me laugh when I cant.
And of cox lee khim, if ever u get to read tis too, thks for being moi secret listening ear all these while. . im a coward in revealing moi true feelings to e person I like. .n wun tell e rest of moi frens hw I feel towards him cox they will jux tell me Yvonne, dun cause harm to pple again….but at least I noe I’ve told someone moi true feelings to abt tis guy, n dat person is u.
I guex I am more or less feeling beta now after writing, after tinking of moi mummy. . after doin sme self reflections at starbucks jux nw. . n nw in moi mind, is building a list of resolution for coming 2007 to make von a better person. . J
posted by cReAm @ 6:03 PM
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