e dae im not confused, will be e dae im not vOn
ok, jux bear w me for awhile. .
he touched dwn. . called me. . met me up cox i was smewhere ard east coast w mr. neighbor n frens. . .
passed me a gift. . n he said there's another one which will make me even more overwhelmed. . he said he bought chamapagne n stuff. . then can u imagine he previously jux said dat he wans to settle dwn. . u tell me, wat does champagne normally come with? argh!!!
i dunoe wat to do, i dunoe hw to handle. .
i mean he's jux exactly like weelee. . which is y it makes me feel even more afraid. .
his aggressiveness, v.direct way abt tings. . its jux like history repeating itself. . i mean dat was exactly hw tings eventually happened between weelee n i, hw he managed to win moi heart n finally became an item. .
but dats moi biggest fear too. . i mean i noe tis guy will take v.gd care of me, will give me e kind of happiness, like i haf no worries, nthg at all. . BUT BUT BUT i oso noe dat along w it, i'll hafta give up alot of moi frens ard me, i mean guy frens. . keke. . cox i noe hw erm 'territorial' he'll be too (given one incident when he was in hk, n i was hanging out w his frens - onli mich noes wat happen exactly)... PLUS he'll give me e greatest fall, if he ever will. . . like wat weelee did. . made me feel like im e luckiest girl in e world, n one dae jux drop me dwn like dat. . well hw i noe, cox like ive mentioned, tis guy kinda did it when we were seeing each other during dat short period. .(onli difference is dat guy was honest abt it).
e onli difference is, nw he';s back. . weelee isnt. . tis guy came back for maybe a yr plus oreadi, tryin to apologise (even till date) n stuff like dat. . BUT BUT BUT. .
i jux cant overcome moi greatest fear. . i mean hw can i even if i wan to? i jux cant . . when i c him, i jux freeze up (like i behaved when i was jux frens w weelee). . i jux cant help but freeze up. .
angela, norman told me to give him another chance since he realli seemed sincere abt it, i jux hafta overcome moi fears. . wen n mich tells me not to. . moi neighbor (of cox he's jux bullshitting, cox he kips telling, jux gO to hk. . everyting will be well taken care of) . .
i mean all of u shld haf seen hw blissed n loved i felt when i was w weelee esp wenyu even thou we squabble n haf all e silly fights all e time. . but all of u wld haf also seen hw bad i fell when weelee n i broke up. . . 8mths of hell n misery for me. . .
i dunoe if i can ever afford to go thru tis again, esp u noe after e latest incident . . . i used to be able to be a risk taker. . . but after tis latest incident, i cant. . i noe i cant. . i cant afford to fall again. . i mean i jux wan e nxt guy to be e rite guy (in e sense, e guy whom i can rely on oreadi). . no more funie games etc. . .
im supp to mit him tmr for lunch (luckily i managed to bluff moi way dat im miting angela n mich for drinks at nite AND its ladies nite so he cant tag along) . . .
wat shld i do? sigh. . . i mean so wat if i realli accept dat we give it another try. . wat am i supp to do? cant possibly ask me to fly over to hk rite? n cant expect me to maintain a LONG DISTANCE kinda shit rite?
SIGH. . . all i can hope n pray nw is dat he'll be too pissed drunk tonite dat he'll haf a super hangover tonite. . keke but given his hyperactiveness (like weelee again!), he'll prob wake up even earlier than i do. . . HELP HELP HELP!
ixit realli e fear i hafta overcome to give moiself n smeone else's a chance? or
i shld jux put on moi defensive shield as per norm. . . smeone teach me hw to handle tis guy? jux take it as he's weelee, hw shld i handle? or shld i not let another Weelee slip thru moi hand again?
Oh n one ting, tis guy. . he has two types of lifestyle. . one is u noe, as a banker. . . he has 2 types of frens. . one is their lifestyle is super ATAS type. . like if we go out w them during those u noe working daes n hrs, u noe i'll hafta smehw dress up (which is super tiring for a lazy me) although he has never realli 'minded'. . (wat sorta english is dat, but heck. . lk at e time nw). . but another half of his, is he's able to oso dress super duper dwn during wkends like me n he likes it dat way. . sigh. . headache. . .
ok, yes i am confused. . i am a confused child. . but since when i was never one? maybe dats y god gave me so many gd frens. . to crack moi brains n lead me at times like dat. . . :(
he touched dwn. . called me. . met me up cox i was smewhere ard east coast w mr. neighbor n frens. . .
passed me a gift. . n he said there's another one which will make me even more overwhelmed. . he said he bought chamapagne n stuff. . then can u imagine he previously jux said dat he wans to settle dwn. . u tell me, wat does champagne normally come with? argh!!!
i dunoe wat to do, i dunoe hw to handle. .
i mean he's jux exactly like weelee. . which is y it makes me feel even more afraid. .
his aggressiveness, v.direct way abt tings. . its jux like history repeating itself. . i mean dat was exactly hw tings eventually happened between weelee n i, hw he managed to win moi heart n finally became an item. .
but dats moi biggest fear too. . i mean i noe tis guy will take v.gd care of me, will give me e kind of happiness, like i haf no worries, nthg at all. . BUT BUT BUT i oso noe dat along w it, i'll hafta give up alot of moi frens ard me, i mean guy frens. . keke. . cox i noe hw erm 'territorial' he'll be too (given one incident when he was in hk, n i was hanging out w his frens - onli mich noes wat happen exactly)... PLUS he'll give me e greatest fall, if he ever will. . . like wat weelee did. . made me feel like im e luckiest girl in e world, n one dae jux drop me dwn like dat. . well hw i noe, cox like ive mentioned, tis guy kinda did it when we were seeing each other during dat short period. .(onli difference is dat guy was honest abt it).
e onli difference is, nw he';s back. . weelee isnt. . tis guy came back for maybe a yr plus oreadi, tryin to apologise (even till date) n stuff like dat. . BUT BUT BUT. .
i jux cant overcome moi greatest fear. . i mean hw can i even if i wan to? i jux cant . . when i c him, i jux freeze up (like i behaved when i was jux frens w weelee). . i jux cant help but freeze up. .
angela, norman told me to give him another chance since he realli seemed sincere abt it, i jux hafta overcome moi fears. . wen n mich tells me not to. . moi neighbor (of cox he's jux bullshitting, cox he kips telling, jux gO to hk. . everyting will be well taken care of) . .
i mean all of u shld haf seen hw blissed n loved i felt when i was w weelee esp wenyu even thou we squabble n haf all e silly fights all e time. . but all of u wld haf also seen hw bad i fell when weelee n i broke up. . . 8mths of hell n misery for me. . .
i dunoe if i can ever afford to go thru tis again, esp u noe after e latest incident . . . i used to be able to be a risk taker. . . but after tis latest incident, i cant. . i noe i cant. . i cant afford to fall again. . i mean i jux wan e nxt guy to be e rite guy (in e sense, e guy whom i can rely on oreadi). . no more funie games etc. . .
im supp to mit him tmr for lunch (luckily i managed to bluff moi way dat im miting angela n mich for drinks at nite AND its ladies nite so he cant tag along) . . .
wat shld i do? sigh. . . i mean so wat if i realli accept dat we give it another try. . wat am i supp to do? cant possibly ask me to fly over to hk rite? n cant expect me to maintain a LONG DISTANCE kinda shit rite?
SIGH. . . all i can hope n pray nw is dat he'll be too pissed drunk tonite dat he'll haf a super hangover tonite. . keke but given his hyperactiveness (like weelee again!), he'll prob wake up even earlier than i do. . . HELP HELP HELP!
ixit realli e fear i hafta overcome to give moiself n smeone else's a chance? or
i shld jux put on moi defensive shield as per norm. . . smeone teach me hw to handle tis guy? jux take it as he's weelee, hw shld i handle? or shld i not let another Weelee slip thru moi hand again?
Oh n one ting, tis guy. . he has two types of lifestyle. . one is u noe, as a banker. . . he has 2 types of frens. . one is their lifestyle is super ATAS type. . like if we go out w them during those u noe working daes n hrs, u noe i'll hafta smehw dress up (which is super tiring for a lazy me) although he has never realli 'minded'. . (wat sorta english is dat, but heck. . lk at e time nw). . but another half of his, is he's able to oso dress super duper dwn during wkends like me n he likes it dat way. . sigh. . headache. . .
ok, yes i am confused. . i am a confused child. . but since when i was never one? maybe dats y god gave me so many gd frens. . to crack moi brains n lead me at times like dat. . . :(
posted by cReAm @ 3:44 AM
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